Not my shame

[sonia]

I had a strange interaction at the farmers market this morning. We're in a transition phase where some of the booths let you choose your own produce, and some of the booths have you point to what you want while they gather it for you. Each week the configuration of booths is different. In theory we're still maintaining 6' of distance while we walk around and wait in line.

I was standing in front of the asparagus booth, trying to figure out if I should just walk up and choose my bunches, or if I needed to wait in line. It was unclear where the line might be. A white man barged in front of me. I said, "I was actually kind of waiting in line here." The white woman with him immediately said, "Wooooowww, we're just passing through."

I responded, "Wooooowww," in turn.

She said, "You need to chill!" I looked her in the eye and waited until she turned away before turning back to the booth and buying my asparagus.

Interesting that these entitled white people were so ready to tell me I was wrong for protesting when they barged between me and the booth (no 6' of distance there), almost as if they're so used to invading people's space that they have a response prepared when people protest.

If roles had been reversed, I would have said, "Oh, sorry, just passing through!" in a friendly way. I reflexively spent a bit of time afterward wondering why they didn't acknowledge me as a person. Too short? Too fat? Carrying a bike bag? Then I abandoned that inquiry as not worth my time. They didn't acknowledge me as a person, and for once I didn't cringe away, but let their shaming bounce right off of me and back to them.

Comments

[ljgeoff]

That sounds disturbing but impowering.

[minoanmiss]

Good for you!

[rosefox]

Well done! But I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

[silveradept]

It's certainly a thing that white people are taught they are entitled to take up any space they so desire and others are overreacting if they protest that encroachment. Glad you stood your ground, as out were, and I hope they learned the correct lesson from the encounter.

[jesse_the_k]

Round of applause for Then I abandoned that inquiry as not worth my time. They didn't acknowledge me as a person, and for once I didn't cringe away, but let their shaming bounce right off of me and back to them.

One of the benefits of aging is recognizing that we don't have to perform "sweetness," especially when pushed by rude, entitled folks.