Normalize distancing yourself from sick people

[sonia]

I will say right up front, this is not about stigmatizing or being rude to people showing symptoms of being sick.

It is simply about getting up and leaving. Which is simple to say, but not always simple to do without a pre-existing decision and commitment. (Even when we have the choice to leave, which not everyone does.)

Fragrances give me migraines. And, even after all this time and strongly established habit, it is hard for me to get up and leave when someone comes in wearing perfume, or their clothes exude incense or essential oils, or there's something in the air and I can't tell where it's coming from but I know it's going to give me trouble.

I have a freeze response where I just kinda huddle up and say it's okay, I'll just deal with it. I thought it was part of the neurological response to fragrances, but I watched myself have a similar response to seeing the host of a gathering sniffle and blow their nose, so maybe it's more about being socialized to go with the flow and not make a fuss.

I want to normalize, for myself and everyone else to say "no thank you" to being around people who are sick. Yeah it's a drag to miss an anticipated party or concert or dinner out, but it's a lot more of a drag to be sick and miss a bunch of events.

It might be harder if the event is work-related, but even then I think we can start saying, "Oops, I was going to work in the office today, but I hear some coughing and sneezing, so I'm going back home and working remotely." In the long run, a lot more people are going to be out of the office if we don't normalize protecting ourselves from illness.

One thing that I haven't heard in the conversation about Covid for a while is that the severity of illness is related to the amount of virus we breathe in. It's an argument for wearing masks, and it's also an argument for turning around and leaving when you realized someone is sick. Yes, you might already have been exposed, but you can still minimize the dose of virus your body has to cope with.

I saw a mastodon toot (can't find it again to give credit) that said you can start masking again tomorrow, and it will start protecting you and the people around you. It's not too late. And it's not too late to leave a gathering where someone is coughing and sneezing. Or at least, put on a mask.

I'd love to see it normalized for the host of a gathering to ask someone to leave if they are showing symptoms, but that is even harder. If we start by being willing to leave ourselves, perhaps that will come with time.

Comments

[adrian_turtle]

That's an excellent analogy to that familiar hesitation around leaving a space where perfume is starting to become a problem. It's especially nerve-wracking for me because I don't react to all perfumes, only some. I worry about walking out unneccessarily, when I've already wasted the travel time or the payment or whatever. It's just so much easier to find a space where "no fragrances" is a rule up front.

[sonia]

Yes, knowing a space is safe is so much better!

[jesse_the_k]

you can start masking again tomorrow, and it will start protecting you and the people around you. It's not too late.

AMEN!

[sonia]

We can hope, right?

[silveradept]

That would be useful, if we could manage to both avoid others when sick and to be willing to not be in the same place as the sick.

(Unfortunately, I work in a place that has direct public service, and they would be most unhappy if we all were able to both stay home and if we were able to tell the sick people they should stay home, too.)

[sonia]

Yeah, I neglected to put in the disclaimer about not everyone having the choice. Which is WHY everyone who does have a choice should have more care ... but you know that already.

[silveradept]

I do. And the freely provided COVID tests have never stopped being popular.

[tshuma]

I have actually instituted this rule for myself at work. I will go the mandated two days per week. I will wear a mask, except to take quick sips from my water bottle. I will only unmask to eat in a room with a door and negative pressure air flow, or outside if the weather permits.

And, once I am there, I have given myself permission to leave the moment someone near me (where I sit) begins coughing, sniffling, sneezing. I will generally say, "Ah, well, I hear some people aren't feeling well around me so it's time to go home where I can safely unmask," or some such. If HR has a concern about this, I will be sharing my concerns in turn.

(I have also given myself permission to leave when the second person starts taking zoom meetings from their desk rather than using a huddle or meeting room, but that's unrelated to the covid and more related to the fact that my noise canceling headphones can't do enough to handle blocking out two conversations happening on two sides of me simultaneously.)

[sonia]

Good for you! I hope HR has the sense to stay out of your hair.