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Eye doctor unclear on consent
Walked out of the middle of my appointment with an eye doctor. "I'm done." Left me shaking with anger and adrenaline, but proud that I listened to myself and took action. She showed no grasp of the concepts of consent and taking input from patients during the prescription check, and I decided there was no way I would allow her to put drops in my eyes. The woman at the front desk didn't charge me for the half-hour I was there, which was nice, and I did get confirmation that my prescription hadn't changed.
Immediately after I said I'm very sensitive to fragrances and chemicals, she opened an alcohol wipe in front of my face. Fortunately I didn't have a strong reaction, although it might have contributed to the adrenaline reaction. I said, "I need you to check with me before you open anything near me." "But it's routine." "That's why I need you to stop and think. I am very sensitive to fragrances and chemicals."
Later. "I'm not interested in an astigmatic correction." No response, continues asking "this one or this one" while rotating lenses. When she got to that part with the other eye, I said, "Did you hear me say I'm not interested in an astigmatic correction?" "Yes, but I'm still going to do this. 1 ... or 2?" "NO! I'm not going to do this." Pauses. Puts that equipment away, moves on to next part.
Checks my existing glasses prescriptions, notes that I have one pair 20/20, one pair less corrected, which is what I said coming in. Long long spiel about reading and being over 40, even though my close vision is perfect, read the smallest line no trouble. I said, yes, I understand, the 20/20 pair are only for driving or concerts. Continues spiel about the weaker pair being better for reading, so she'd recommend, blah blah blah. I DON'T READ WITH THE STRONG PAIR. That's when I decided I was done. ARGH!!
Pleased with how I handled it, ultimately no harm done, but shaken by the doctor's utter imperviousness to input. Are most people okay with being treated that way? After saying I was done, I asked her how long she's been in practice. "A decade." "Huh, I would have thought you would have acquired some communication skills between now and then." I mean, SERIOUSLY.
Immediately after I said I'm very sensitive to fragrances and chemicals, she opened an alcohol wipe in front of my face. Fortunately I didn't have a strong reaction, although it might have contributed to the adrenaline reaction. I said, "I need you to check with me before you open anything near me." "But it's routine." "That's why I need you to stop and think. I am very sensitive to fragrances and chemicals."
Later. "I'm not interested in an astigmatic correction." No response, continues asking "this one or this one" while rotating lenses. When she got to that part with the other eye, I said, "Did you hear me say I'm not interested in an astigmatic correction?" "Yes, but I'm still going to do this. 1 ... or 2?" "NO! I'm not going to do this." Pauses. Puts that equipment away, moves on to next part.
Checks my existing glasses prescriptions, notes that I have one pair 20/20, one pair less corrected, which is what I said coming in. Long long spiel about reading and being over 40, even though my close vision is perfect, read the smallest line no trouble. I said, yes, I understand, the 20/20 pair are only for driving or concerts. Continues spiel about the weaker pair being better for reading, so she'd recommend, blah blah blah. I DON'T READ WITH THE STRONG PAIR. That's when I decided I was done. ARGH!!
Pleased with how I handled it, ultimately no harm done, but shaken by the doctor's utter imperviousness to input. Are most people okay with being treated that way? After saying I was done, I asked her how long she's been in practice. "A decade." "Huh, I would have thought you would have acquired some communication skills between now and then." I mean, SERIOUSLY.
no subject
Going to the eye doctor about a year and a half ago was one of the most triggering experiences I've had recently. I actually enjoy my regular doctor, because she communicates WITH me and listens to me and explains things to me and doesn't treat me like a machine that needs oiling and adjusting.
no subject
Oddly enough, I haven't had a bad one in many years, so my guard wasn't up. *sigh* I usually have more trouble with dentists. These medical professionals on power trips are bizarre. I find myself speaking slow-ly and dis-tinct-ly when someone blows through my boundaries, which probably doesn't actually help anything.
no subject
Quiet yet demonstrative applause for speaking up for your rights and boundaries. Also Buffy clusters for coming up with the great snark re: learning communication skills.
The thing about health practitioners is it's so hard to open up our hearts and souls for profound examination, yet keep ourselves guarded and safe. That sort of effort stresses every mental and emotional skill I've got.
Was this hopeless case an ophthalmologist, or an optometrist? Because my folks took me to ophthas age 4, I developed the habit of seeing them. Much the same as you did, they often went through the "standards," while ignoring my concerns. Much later I discovered that optos are more practically focused. I start my appts with my functional goals, my long term issues, any new changes and I find the optos much more willing for me to set the agenda.
Best wishes for finding a better practitioner!
[Icon resembles me age four]
no subject
It's an interesting question - how to indicate to someone that they have screwed up royally without "behaving badly" in some way. I'm not sure it's possible. I try to leave before I start yelling, at least.
This one was an ophthalmologist. (Dang, it's even harder to type than to say.) Thanks for the optometrist tip, that sounds useful.
[heh for icon, and 4y.o. self. I was seven when I got glasses, and they were big round plastic ones.]