sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Sonia Connolly ([personal profile] sonia) wrote2021-10-05 09:39 am
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Link: Why we are no longer hitting kids

Another great twitter thread from Tori Williams Douglass, @ToriGlass. Open in a private window so Twitter doesn't hassle you about logging in, or read the full thread below.


let’s talk about why we are no longer hitting kids! in a word? research! we now have five decades of peer reviewed reproducible studies looking at kids’ behavior, outcomes, and brain scans. no matter the angle, hitting kids is always bad for them. no exceptions.

behavior: hitting kids does not get them to improve their behavior long term. it puts their nervous system into “fight or flight” meaning the preponderance of their brain’s resources are focused on “just SURVIVE this”. fight or flight actually hinders learning and self-regulation

outcomes: on the whole, how do kids who are hit fare when compared to kids who weren’t hit? in a word: worse. kids who are hit experience anxiety, depression, violent outbursts at a rate higher than their peers who are not hit. they have *less* “self control” than kids who aren’t

brain scans: MRIs show that people who were hit as kids Happy woman raising one handhave less gray matter than people who weren’t. when your brain thinks it needs to devote a lot of resources to staying alive, there are, it turns our, fewer resources left for learning, regulating, and improving behavior

now here’s the good news. this is not proof that people who were hit as kids are all destined to be failures. we can see that is untrue. what it means is that those of us who were hit as children have brains that are wired more toward survival than processing new information.

if you were hit as a kid, you are not predestined to become a violent person incapable of learning new things.

at the end of the day, we just have fewer cognitive funds left in the account because our nervous systems were trained to believe the world requires hyper vigilance.

turns out, facts don’t care that you think you “turned out ok” despite being hit. if you are on the internet arguing that adults should be allowed to physically assault someone 1/3 their size? you did not in fact turn out ok

thankfully for all of us, therapy + medication exist

unfortunately we can’t go back and have those developmental experiences we missed because our brains were focused on surviving. but all of us can resolve to advocate and agitate for protecting kids from violence in the home.

and that counts.

/fin Heart suitFireDizzy symbolHerbWater wave
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Default)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2021-10-05 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Well said.

Sometimes I wonder how smart I could have been if my parents hadn't kept me more or less terrified for 18 years. I could have done so much else with all that energy.

At least I learned to lie with a straight face, I guess.
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Default)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2021-10-07 03:30 am (UTC)(link)

Hey, thank you. :)

hugs you

silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)

[personal profile] silveradept 2021-10-10 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
Science has done a really good job of explaining to us what the baseline requirements are for turning out kids that are all right, and there are a lot of people involved in the raising of children who either don't know it or directly ignore it because they believe they have to use terror tactics on children to raise them right.
tshuma: (basic braid)

[personal profile] tshuma 2021-10-14 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
I want to send all this to my parents and tell them to explain why they thought it was okay. Except I don't really want to hear all the justifications.