Link: Disappointment in progressive men

We Asked Them to Step Up, and They Let Us Down by Melissa McEwan at Shakesville, on her disappointment in progressive men. The relationship dynamic she describes is intimately familiar to me. Nice to know I'm not alone, and also overwhelming to think how endemic this is.

I'm reminded of a relationship dynamic that a lot of women partnered with men experience: The woman does all of the emotional labor to make the relationship work, and eventually she's just tapped out, and she asks for him to step up, and maybe he promises he will and maybe he doesn't bother, but, either way, he doesn't.

And this might go on for days or weeks or months or years, until she finally gives him a desperate ultimatum: Seriously, you need to step up, because I don't have anything left. And he says, "It's too hard. Bye." The moment he is asked to put in a modicum of effort, the relationship isn't worth it to him anymore.

February Sundown Healing Arts Newsletter

When you tend to your body with generous care, you practice feeling better and receiving kindness right now.
Your Body Is Your Ally

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!

• "Attached" by Amir Levine, MD and Rachel S.F. Heller, MA
  
• "Pain Is Really Strange" by Steve Haines, art by Sophie Standing

"Is Strange" books at the library
In case you're curious about the graphic "novel" (nonfiction) books "Pain Is Really Strange" and "Trauma Is Really Strange" by Steve Haines and Sophie Standing, I requested their purchase at Multnomah County Public Library and they are now available. If you're not local to Portland, you might be able to get them via Inter-Library Loan.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

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