Using my voice
Dec. 5th, 2011 11:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaI've been speaking out a lot lately - and being heard! I've been practicing using my voice for years, but that second part is really getting my attention.
Someone got in touch who ended a friendship with me abruptly 5 years ago. I expressed a bunch of boundaries - and he changed his behavior! I am honestly not sure what to do next, that is such an unusual experience. Sit with my uncertainty, I guess.
I sent a private email about alcohol being emphasized at a local craft fair, and the recipient said it was valuable feedback and suggested I post it publicly, where others chimed in agreeing. There were haters, of course (people get so defensive about their alcohol!) but the support and agreement were unexpected.
I sent a private email to a board member commenting on a major kerfuffle in a folk dance organization, and received a polite but defensive response. It included, "Tell me if this answered your questions." I replied politely that no, it hadn't, but that's okay because I wasn't asking questions, I was offering my perspective. She responded back that she'd like to understand and would I try again. Huh! So I took the time to try again. I don't think it will make any difference in the long run, but still, she valued my voice enough to ask.
Somewhere along the way, I learned to say what I think honestly, kindly, without expecting change. At least this week, that seems to be effective.
Someone got in touch who ended a friendship with me abruptly 5 years ago. I expressed a bunch of boundaries - and he changed his behavior! I am honestly not sure what to do next, that is such an unusual experience. Sit with my uncertainty, I guess.
I sent a private email about alcohol being emphasized at a local craft fair, and the recipient said it was valuable feedback and suggested I post it publicly, where others chimed in agreeing. There were haters, of course (people get so defensive about their alcohol!) but the support and agreement were unexpected.
I sent a private email to a board member commenting on a major kerfuffle in a folk dance organization, and received a polite but defensive response. It included, "Tell me if this answered your questions." I replied politely that no, it hadn't, but that's okay because I wasn't asking questions, I was offering my perspective. She responded back that she'd like to understand and would I try again. Huh! So I took the time to try again. I don't think it will make any difference in the long run, but still, she valued my voice enough to ask.
Somewhere along the way, I learned to say what I think honestly, kindly, without expecting change. At least this week, that seems to be effective.
