Decisions are hard
Aug. 29th, 2022 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaI dreamed this morning that I had moved back to Portland. I was telling myself, well, at least I got out of that house there, and getting in touch with my bodyworker there and telling her I was back.
I've been carrying the dream around all day, wondering. I think what I'm craving is familiarity and ease. I've gotten starbursts of that here. Cindy and Andy are still making Thai curry at farmers markets 17 years later. I bought and ate some despite the ensuing headache. I used to buy from them every Tuesday and Saturday at the Berkeley market, a mainstay of nourishment on several levels.
The privately maintained public water fountain on the bike ride up Tunnel Rd is not only still there, it's been painted with a blue baby elephant and the words "Love, Chloe." Thank you so much, Chloe!
Tears of recognition and gratitude.
And at the same time. Getting my internet up and running was a huge struggle. Turns out my trusty Airport Extreme doesn't work with fiber, or anyway not without more effort and knowledge than I had available. I bought an Orbi router + satellite because NO, I'm not going to have an Amazon-made device (the Eero my fiber provider rents out) privy to all my network traffic! I don't know if that was the right decision, but it's the one BestBuy had in stock that looked like the closest to what I need. Also I ended up turning extra circles around Emeryville and passing the transfer station and several railroad tracks on my bike while trying to find BestBuy. Why was that so hard??
A friend came over to help me hang a heavy tile picture (at least 50 lbs) over the fireplace, but the stud isn't centered. So I'll have to figure out something to support it properly, because it's been hanging over my fireplaces for over 20 years and I don't plan to stop now.
I am working on assembling the sit/stand desk I bought, with the help of that same friend. (thank you!) I gave the desk I've had for 20-ish years and the chair I've had for almost 30 years that was always too big to my neighbor in El Cerrito. I've been working at a tiny desk in a kitchen chair meanwhile. Was that the right decision? I sure hope so, because it was a lot of $$ and I can't go back.
There are bikes and bike gear everywhere, because there is no bike shed yet. I thought I would go to a store, pick one out, pay to have it delivered, and be done. Nope, stores don't stock them assembled, and I could buy one on Amazon but all the reviews are mediocre at best and assembly is hard and my parking spot is not entirely level, which is a problem. And the condo association is thinking of repaving the whole parking area, so I should probably wait to do anything. Bikes in the way everywhere! (Only two, but also a bike trailer and a bike stand and miscellaneous stuff and dragging a bike up and down the porch steps any time I go anywhere.)
I hear more clunking and footsteps from the neighbor than I expected. I'm still worried about not having enough space. There's a smaller condo for sale up the street, with shared bike parking and better outdoor space. Of course, a condo in hand is way better than one in a bidding war, but I'm questioning whether this will ultimately be good. I think so? But it's really hard right now.
There was an ant apocalypse in the kitchen for a couple of days, although it seems to have died down again with cleaning them up assiduously.
I am mostly unpacked. Maybe I'm just exhausted. Work interpersonal issues have been terribly hard, although there has been slight improvement lately. So much work, and not the kind I'm paid for, either.
Also I'm having my first period in 6 months and it's been going on for over two weeks now and good thing I have prescription progesterone to slow it down when it starts really flooding because I'm still using that blood. Sigh. I'm taking iron pills again.
In conclusion, maybe I'll take this computer upstairs and sit in bed to catch up on email, now that I have wifi again, and rest.
I've been carrying the dream around all day, wondering. I think what I'm craving is familiarity and ease. I've gotten starbursts of that here. Cindy and Andy are still making Thai curry at farmers markets 17 years later. I bought and ate some despite the ensuing headache. I used to buy from them every Tuesday and Saturday at the Berkeley market, a mainstay of nourishment on several levels.
The privately maintained public water fountain on the bike ride up Tunnel Rd is not only still there, it's been painted with a blue baby elephant and the words "Love, Chloe." Thank you so much, Chloe!
Tears of recognition and gratitude.
And at the same time. Getting my internet up and running was a huge struggle. Turns out my trusty Airport Extreme doesn't work with fiber, or anyway not without more effort and knowledge than I had available. I bought an Orbi router + satellite because NO, I'm not going to have an Amazon-made device (the Eero my fiber provider rents out) privy to all my network traffic! I don't know if that was the right decision, but it's the one BestBuy had in stock that looked like the closest to what I need. Also I ended up turning extra circles around Emeryville and passing the transfer station and several railroad tracks on my bike while trying to find BestBuy. Why was that so hard??
A friend came over to help me hang a heavy tile picture (at least 50 lbs) over the fireplace, but the stud isn't centered. So I'll have to figure out something to support it properly, because it's been hanging over my fireplaces for over 20 years and I don't plan to stop now.
I am working on assembling the sit/stand desk I bought, with the help of that same friend. (thank you!) I gave the desk I've had for 20-ish years and the chair I've had for almost 30 years that was always too big to my neighbor in El Cerrito. I've been working at a tiny desk in a kitchen chair meanwhile. Was that the right decision? I sure hope so, because it was a lot of $$ and I can't go back.
There are bikes and bike gear everywhere, because there is no bike shed yet. I thought I would go to a store, pick one out, pay to have it delivered, and be done. Nope, stores don't stock them assembled, and I could buy one on Amazon but all the reviews are mediocre at best and assembly is hard and my parking spot is not entirely level, which is a problem. And the condo association is thinking of repaving the whole parking area, so I should probably wait to do anything. Bikes in the way everywhere! (Only two, but also a bike trailer and a bike stand and miscellaneous stuff and dragging a bike up and down the porch steps any time I go anywhere.)
I hear more clunking and footsteps from the neighbor than I expected. I'm still worried about not having enough space. There's a smaller condo for sale up the street, with shared bike parking and better outdoor space. Of course, a condo in hand is way better than one in a bidding war, but I'm questioning whether this will ultimately be good. I think so? But it's really hard right now.
There was an ant apocalypse in the kitchen for a couple of days, although it seems to have died down again with cleaning them up assiduously.
I am mostly unpacked. Maybe I'm just exhausted. Work interpersonal issues have been terribly hard, although there has been slight improvement lately. So much work, and not the kind I'm paid for, either.
Also I'm having my first period in 6 months and it's been going on for over two weeks now and good thing I have prescription progesterone to slow it down when it starts really flooding because I'm still using that blood. Sigh. I'm taking iron pills again.
In conclusion, maybe I'll take this computer upstairs and sit in bed to catch up on email, now that I have wifi again, and rest.
