Link: Emotional Labor
Oct. 3rd, 2015 07:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaOlivia K. Lima summarized the amazing MetaFilter thread on Emotional Labor. Thank you, Olivia, for your labor in putting this together.
Summary: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bx-xbuASOkWccFk3ekRzcmZSajg/view?pli=1
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! I read parts of the original thread, but didn't have the emotional energy (hm!) to read all of it. This summary is still 63 pages but was easier for me to take in.
Reading, I viscerally realized that I've had several fortunate escapes in my life. Something in me rebels at having my emotional labor taken for granted, and I've always had enough privilege to walk away.
Most recently, a male friend would sit expectantly at my table, and, puzzled, I would say, "The food is in the kitchen" (as usual). I'm happy to cook for folks, but they have to serve themselves. There was a related story in the summary, and I realized, oh, it's an automatic expectation of being served. Wow, patriarchy oozes in everywhere.
Summary: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bx-xbuASOkWccFk3ekRzcmZSajg/view?pli=1
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! I read parts of the original thread, but didn't have the emotional energy (hm!) to read all of it. This summary is still 63 pages but was easier for me to take in.
Reading, I viscerally realized that I've had several fortunate escapes in my life. Something in me rebels at having my emotional labor taken for granted, and I've always had enough privilege to walk away.
Most recently, a male friend would sit expectantly at my table, and, puzzled, I would say, "The food is in the kitchen" (as usual). I'm happy to cook for folks, but they have to serve themselves. There was a related story in the summary, and I realized, oh, it's an automatic expectation of being served. Wow, patriarchy oozes in everywhere.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 03:24 am (UTC)Btw, I think your link got borked: this one worked for me
http://www.metafilter.com/151267/Wheres-My-Cut-On-Unpaid-Emotional-Labor
"The food is in the kitchen." That's EXCELLENT,
no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 03:31 am (UTC)I wondered what confusing signals I might be sending about serving food, but it wasn't me! What a weird world.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 05:15 pm (UTC)*facepalm*
(also, thanks for the metafilter summary!)
no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 10:19 pm (UTC)Were you aware of the pattern at the time? I mean, I knew about all this stuff, men expecting to be served, yadda yadda, but somehow I missed that it was this bad, and this pervasive. I grew up in the 70's thinking feminism had succeeded!
no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-04 03:57 am (UTC)