sonia | Dec. 26th, 2020

I love these questions about gender from

Some questions to ponder:
* What do I enjoy about being my gender?
* Why do I identify with my gender?
* What gendered expectations do I put on myself? Do I enjoy those expectations? Why or why not?
* What gendered expectations do I put on others? Why?
* How do societal pressures affect my gender presentation?
* In what ways could I better feed my gender? What small things could I do in order to make it happy?
* How do I visualize gender as a concept? What does my gender, in specific, look like?

I've thought about most of them over time, except how I could better feed my gender and make it happy.

I think of my gender as "smart, nerdy, opinionated woman," and the first three are in opposition to society's expectations of a woman. So I always feel like I'm not performing well to external standards, but I haven't thought about my gender as something I can fulfill and make happy for myself. As I think about it, having food and fragrance sensitivities also feels like it's in opposition to being a "proper" woman according to society. Not accommodating enough, too much trouble to deal with.

So I can feed my gender and make it happy by being curious and digging into things and having opinions without apology, and also by having needs and taking good care of myself. And most of all by paying attention to that background voice that says, "You're not doing it right," and knowing that I'm doing a great job at being what I actually am.

How about you? How could you feed your gender and make it happy?