Self-empathy
Dec. 16th, 2018 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaOne of the tools I learned from Focusing when I first encountered it was the power of stepping back and acknowledging. "Yes, that's there," in response to emotions, thoughts, experiences, sensations.
One day in class, Ann Weiser Cornell was talking about the qualities of self-in-presence (what I usually call the wider self, or witness self). Empathy, warmth, caring, presence. All the things I had recently listed that I want from a therapist, and have been unable to find!
So I decided to try it. The next time I said, "Yes, that's there," about a part in pain, I also said, "I'm so sorry you're hurting." It does seem to help!
I have Feelings about yet again having to do something for myself, but at least it's there, and free, and consistently available. I've always been wary of becoming dependent on a therapist at $100+ per week.
At the heart of a Tangle, there's something crucial that was missing. Empathy was definitely missing for me as a child. I've looked for it outside myself with little success. It feels awkward to turn toward those young, hurting parts and offer empathy, and also surprisingly simple. It would be great if this can ease that longtime ache inside.
One day in class, Ann Weiser Cornell was talking about the qualities of self-in-presence (what I usually call the wider self, or witness self). Empathy, warmth, caring, presence. All the things I had recently listed that I want from a therapist, and have been unable to find!
So I decided to try it. The next time I said, "Yes, that's there," about a part in pain, I also said, "I'm so sorry you're hurting." It does seem to help!
I have Feelings about yet again having to do something for myself, but at least it's there, and free, and consistently available. I've always been wary of becoming dependent on a therapist at $100+ per week.
At the heart of a Tangle, there's something crucial that was missing. Empathy was definitely missing for me as a child. I've looked for it outside myself with little success. It feels awkward to turn toward those young, hurting parts and offer empathy, and also surprisingly simple. It would be great if this can ease that longtime ache inside.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-17 04:26 pm (UTC)The first mother-ache i have felt in a long time was when my mother made compassionate gestures towards me this past week: so unexpected to receive from her. It awakened the sleeping memory of missing that from her growing up.
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Date: 2018-12-17 08:41 pm (UTC)Sorry to hear about the recent mother-ache with compassionate gestures. So many painful layers to that!