Word of the year
Dec. 30th, 2011 10:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaFor 2011 my word of the year was delight. I enjoyed noting small delights (new front brakes on my bike that don't squeal and work well in the rain!) and big ones (my book is done and people like it!).
I wanted things to go from "better" all the way to "good." Some success with that. I am physically feeling much better. My right hip is moving better (I can meditate cross-legged again!), and I just got a tip today (massage the teres muscle in the armpit) that might help with the ongoing left shoulder pain.
There have been disappointments, too. A lot of alone-time, where I'd like more community and connection. I'm feeling a bit at loose ends because the book project is done and I don't have a new project yet. It feels practically un-American to have free time on my hands.
I've thought of several different words for 2012, and I might yet change my mind again. Tonight I'm thinking of "connection". It's always been a powerful feeling for me, and sometimes I've felt unwillingly obsessively connected to people who did not have my best interests in mind. I've also felt painfully disconnected in a lot of ways.
The last two years, I've chosen words where the feeling was, "I want this now if not sooner!" With connection I feel cautious, tentative. Not because I don't want it, but because I do want it so terribly, and have for so long, and have gotten so hurt in pursuit of it. I would like to learn about a kind of connection that doesn't come with catastrophe. I want to stay out of Drama Triangles.
Also, I'm in a better place than I was two years ago. Thank goodness. I'm not as desperate for change. My practice is flowing better, and I am feeling more delight, or at least balance. I hope those things stay with me as I move into a new year and a new focus.
ETA: I used to prioritize connection over peace. That didn't work well at all. If I stay with connection as the word of the year, peace will still be a higher priority.
I wanted things to go from "better" all the way to "good." Some success with that. I am physically feeling much better. My right hip is moving better (I can meditate cross-legged again!), and I just got a tip today (massage the teres muscle in the armpit) that might help with the ongoing left shoulder pain.
There have been disappointments, too. A lot of alone-time, where I'd like more community and connection. I'm feeling a bit at loose ends because the book project is done and I don't have a new project yet. It feels practically un-American to have free time on my hands.
I've thought of several different words for 2012, and I might yet change my mind again. Tonight I'm thinking of "connection". It's always been a powerful feeling for me, and sometimes I've felt unwillingly obsessively connected to people who did not have my best interests in mind. I've also felt painfully disconnected in a lot of ways.
The last two years, I've chosen words where the feeling was, "I want this now if not sooner!" With connection I feel cautious, tentative. Not because I don't want it, but because I do want it so terribly, and have for so long, and have gotten so hurt in pursuit of it. I would like to learn about a kind of connection that doesn't come with catastrophe. I want to stay out of Drama Triangles.
Also, I'm in a better place than I was two years ago. Thank goodness. I'm not as desperate for change. My practice is flowing better, and I am feeling more delight, or at least balance. I hope those things stay with me as I move into a new year and a new focus.
ETA: I used to prioritize connection over peace. That didn't work well at all. If I stay with connection as the word of the year, peace will still be a higher priority.
