Proud around neurodivergence
Dec. 7th, 2024 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaOver the past year, I've gradually come to own that I'm neurodivergent. It's a small shift in perspective from "sensitive" and "detail oriented" and feeling slightly askew from society to, "oh, all those things fit under this one label."
I'm proud of making that shift in perspective. I'm not sure I can say I'm proud of neurodivergence itself. There's more of a flinchy sense of doing it wrong associated with it.
Lately, a couple of old friends have gently included me under the neurodivergent umbrella in conversation, as an aside of, "we both know this probably applies..." In a way it's a relief to be seen that way, as normal for my own frame of reference.
I have a cousin who is formally diagnosed as autistic. He lives in a special community where he receives the assistance he needs to be semi-independent as an adult. When I look around at the rest of my family, there sure are a lot of socially awkward geeks, possibly above and beyond the expected traits of Ashkenazi Jews.
I took an online diagnostic questionnaire for autism in women a few years ago, and didn't score high enough to make the cutoff. I hesitate to claim that more specific label, although I do wonder if I'm just really good at masking. It's hard to untangle what's innate from what's caused by trauma and head injuries.
It also makes me wonder if I was a difficult kid, which is a big shift from looking at my parents' inadequacies. Now that I'm writing this, though, I think I needed some help and accommodations I didn't get around socializing, and my parents didn't have those things to give. But overall I was a pretty good kid.silveradept has been writing about Twice Exceptional, and I think there was (is) some of that going on.
I feel like having Pride as a Word of the Year has opened the way for this shift. When I allow myself to own and be proud of my strengths, I can more clearly see the patterns behind them.
I'm proud of making that shift in perspective. I'm not sure I can say I'm proud of neurodivergence itself. There's more of a flinchy sense of doing it wrong associated with it.
Lately, a couple of old friends have gently included me under the neurodivergent umbrella in conversation, as an aside of, "we both know this probably applies..." In a way it's a relief to be seen that way, as normal for my own frame of reference.
I have a cousin who is formally diagnosed as autistic. He lives in a special community where he receives the assistance he needs to be semi-independent as an adult. When I look around at the rest of my family, there sure are a lot of socially awkward geeks, possibly above and beyond the expected traits of Ashkenazi Jews.
I took an online diagnostic questionnaire for autism in women a few years ago, and didn't score high enough to make the cutoff. I hesitate to claim that more specific label, although I do wonder if I'm just really good at masking. It's hard to untangle what's innate from what's caused by trauma and head injuries.
It also makes me wonder if I was a difficult kid, which is a big shift from looking at my parents' inadequacies. Now that I'm writing this, though, I think I needed some help and accommodations I didn't get around socializing, and my parents didn't have those things to give. But overall I was a pretty good kid.
silveradept has been writing about Twice Exceptional, and I think there was (is) some of that going on.I feel like having Pride as a Word of the Year has opened the way for this shift. When I allow myself to own and be proud of my strengths, I can more clearly see the patterns behind them.
