Joy and pride
Dec. 14th, 2024 09:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaI went to a friend's band concert last night. The band members are deeply connected as well as amazing musicians, and it's always fun to watch them interacting as they time things just right and appreciate each other's solos. This time, my friend's 25 year old son sat in with them playing guitar. As they got into the first song, she looked over at him, radiating love and pride.
She kept smiling over her accordion as the song continued, joy spilling out of her. I thought a kid being someone's "pride and joy" just meant they were important, that they like them. I've never understood the full-body intensity of it.
For sure my parents never looked at me that way. Maybe sometimes I was a credit to the family, which means I made them look good. Mostly I was an inconvenience or a disappointment or a thing to be used or ignored.
I'm happy for the son. The whole family turned out, and I'm sure his brother and dad were beaming at him too. I wonder what it's like to grow up surrounded in love like that, like a fish in water. I wonder what it's like for my friend, co-creating and inhabiting such a loving family. As a friend, I receive and treasure some of that warmth.
The whole band is like that. The drummer gave the son a warm smile and an enthusiastic thumbs up after his guitar solo. Oh, so that's how people learn to like performing, when they're received like that.
Relatedly,mrissa posted her stories published this year, and On the Water Its Crystal Teeth was new to me, and just the right thing to read after last night's concert.
She kept smiling over her accordion as the song continued, joy spilling out of her. I thought a kid being someone's "pride and joy" just meant they were important, that they like them. I've never understood the full-body intensity of it.
For sure my parents never looked at me that way. Maybe sometimes I was a credit to the family, which means I made them look good. Mostly I was an inconvenience or a disappointment or a thing to be used or ignored.
I'm happy for the son. The whole family turned out, and I'm sure his brother and dad were beaming at him too. I wonder what it's like to grow up surrounded in love like that, like a fish in water. I wonder what it's like for my friend, co-creating and inhabiting such a loving family. As a friend, I receive and treasure some of that warmth.
The whole band is like that. The drummer gave the son a warm smile and an enthusiastic thumbs up after his guitar solo. Oh, so that's how people learn to like performing, when they're received like that.
Relatedly,
mrissa posted her stories published this year, and On the Water Its Crystal Teeth was new to me, and just the right thing to read after last night's concert.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-14 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-14 07:52 pm (UTC)What a lovely thing to witness!
Date: 2024-12-14 10:31 pm (UTC)Like you, I didn't have that experience growing up.
One of the best parts of WisCon was meeting families who demonstrated their love and appreciation for each other. Seeing that helped me push on in therapy, because evidently it was possible to be lovable.
Re: What a lovely thing to witness!
Date: 2024-12-15 05:21 pm (UTC)Re: What a lovely thing to witness!
Date: 2024-12-15 07:38 pm (UTC)Perhaps because the con has always subsidized childcare ($5 for the whole weekend), there were several families that grew up here on Memorial Days.
Re: What a lovely thing to witness!
Date: 2024-12-16 05:07 am (UTC)Hey, I hadn't seen that icon before! :-)