Conflicting access needs (*)

[sonia]

I went to see Kitka's Wintersongs concert last night. The singers recently returned from a study and performance trip to the Republic of Georgia, so the whole concert was Georgian songs, resonating through the high open space of the brick St. Paul's Episcopal Church. They sounded wonderful.

I was one of a handful of people wearing masks, nervously settling into my spot on a pew in a sea of unmasked people. Then a kid almost directly behind me starts up with a hacking cough. I turned horrified eyes on their mom, who looked back at me impassively. This happened several more times.

At intermission, I checked with one of the ushers, someone I know from Balkan choir. Was there anything we could do about the situation? She said yes, she could offer them a mask. That seemed like a good idea, intermediate between doing nothing and asking them to leave.

I didn't turn to watch the conversation, but caught something about "not sick, it's (allergies? asthma?)," and the usher said, "Just in case it's something else in addition," which I thought was a good response. Next time I looked back, their seats were empty.

On the one hand, if it really is allergies or asthma, now I feel bad about interrupting their enjoyment of the concert. On the other hand, they were for sure interrupting the enjoyment of everyone around them, and I wasn't the only one worried about illness.

I wish we had a stronger social contract in all directions. Wearing masks. Not attending concerts while ill. Access to treatment for asthma or allergies - that cough did not sound good, no matter what it was. In our current world, it feels like maybe I should have sucked it up and worried silently through the whole concert, or left myself. It was a full house, or I would have just moved.

Last year, I went to a Kitka holiday singalong in a less full space, and there was someone coughing and sniffling, no mask. I immediately moved away from them to the edge of space next to the windows. Two of the Kitka singers came down with Covid after that, and I haven't heard anything about a holiday singalong this year.

(*) See jesse_the_k's comment about the post title.

Comments

[redbird]

"Just in case it's something else in addition" makes a lot of sense; people seem to have forgotten that allergies and asthma don't protect someone from infection. Saying that may not help with people who don't care whether they infect anyone else, but it might persuade some of the merely careless.

[sonia]

Yes, I was impressed at how the usher handled the situation with aplomb!

[noahgibbs]

It's definitely a whole other world in Scotland, after growing up in the US. The social contract is just *different* when health care is free.

Masks are still a difficulty here. But some of the constant worry over injury is different. Now if the UK would just get its act together about Covid and masking...

[sabotabby]

I'm glad the ushers did something. But yeah, even if it's allergies or asthma (and it's probably not) why not just make everyone around you less freaked out?

[zdenka]

I think your actions were very reasonable!

[azurelunatic]

I like how They Might Be Giants handles it -- they request that all attendees wear masks, and frame it as: we can't wear masks while singing, so please wear your mask for us, so we can keep doing this.

[sonia]

I hadn't thought about that before, that the whole social contract would be different, and there would be less worry overall with that cushion of support. I'm glad you have that!

[sonia]

I'm sure there's a reason. Whether the rest of us would think it's a good reason is an open question!

[sonia]

Thank you! It's hard to know sometimes where the line is between advocating for myself in a good way, and impinging on others in a bad way.

[sonia]

I like that!

[silveradept]

A stronger sense of taking care of others and ourselves would be nice.

On the other side, it was so much nicer when many events were being livestreamed, because them you didn't have to chose between missing out on the event and going to an event where you might spread something or pick up an additional something.

Well done, usher, for a good suggestion, shame it wasn't taken well.

[sonia]

A stronger sense of taking care of others and ourselves would be nice.
Wouldn't it, though!

One of this series of concerts was livestreamed, but being in the same space as a group of singers vs. watching them on a screen are two very different experiences.

[jesse_the_k]

Great usher action! I'm glad you got to see these great performers in action.

Noticed elseweb the term access friction instead of conflicting access needs.

I don't know what I think about that. A decade ago, I mostly heard conflicting access needs from nondisabled people and event planners, where I heard the subtext "it's impossible to do this perfectly so why even try?" With a side order of "disabled people are so demanding."

Nowadays it's more of a community conversation, and frequently it's "calling in" for better planning. Conflicting does carry, for me, a combative valence, when a peaceful concern can be raised and coped with. Friction evokes all sorts of technology that makes things slide easier.

Speaking of oil, Hanukkah greeetings.

[sonia]

Hanukkah greetings to you!

Thanks for the information about the title phrase. I wasn't aware that the terminology has moved on. In this particular case, there was a fair amount of not-trying, and it did feel like a conflict. I'm happy to change it if it comes across as ableist, but I'm not sure this post and the circumstances have earned the phrase access friction either.

Do you have further thoughts about that? Meanwhile I'll add a pointer to your comment for context.

Oh no!

[jesse_the_k]

I was just thinking out loud--I did not intend to criticize your perceptions of what sounded like a shitty interaction.

Re: Oh no!

[sonia]

Oh good! Thank you for the thoughts!