Link: In the near absence of friendship...

[sonia]

I needed to read this today. Monica Cassani, "In the near absence of friendship..." about the abandonment and isolation of being chronically ill.

People are afraid of and do all they can to run from life’s pain and our physical and mental frailty it seems. Those of us who are faced with it discover a side of humanity most are in denial about.

I have this persistent idea that lack of friendship and companionship means I'm Doing It Wrong. Maybe it simply means I'm Doing It Honest, and there have been a lot of hard things in my life. It feels a lot better to think of it as a characteristic of our modern rushed mobile society, than as a deep failure in the way I live and relate.

My cat Lilac is now painfully thin from renal failure. I just started her on a new food which she eats enthusiastically and apparently without ill effect, so perhaps the end is a little delayed, but it is clearly coming. I grieve not only her impending loss, but also the fact that she is my only close companion. Meanwhile I enjoy seeing her sprawled luxuriously in the sun-warmed upstairs room, and treasure each moment when she seeks me out, purring.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

I'm reading, and hoping Lilac has a chance to smell some flowers this spring.

[sonia]

Thank you. We're having a lovely warm dry spring, so yes, she's been outside some, and is enjoying the heat.

I've been taking lots of pictures.

[elainegrey]

Doing it Honest sounds plausible to me.

I was reading a book "Repacking Your Bags" and the desire for having meaningful conversation in life -- and all the anecdotes seemed to describe incredibly well off and privileged folk. It doesn't mean some of their advice is wrong, but it gave me the creeps.

I think of the story of the Buddha as a young man, his transformation in encountering suffering, and how we are not taught how to be present with others in their suffering or pain, and then the extra challenge of privilege...

Thinking of you and Lilac and sun warmed naps.

[sonia]

Thanks for the good thoughts and the comments. I'm noticing that we are not taught to be present with others in their anger, either.

[suncat]

Hoping for the most possible healthy, happy time for you and Lilac. Been there, watching a beloved animal friend slowly become frailer. Glad she's getting to enjoy some spring weather, and spring weather for you, too.

[sonia]

Thank you for the good wishes!