Word of the year 2015
Jan. 1st, 2015 03:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soniaLast year's word of the year was welcome. I meant I wanted to feel welcomed, but it immediately became an imperative to make others welcome. And perhaps to make myself welcome.
I've had some good changes in my life this year. Basil. A hill-riding bike buddy who knows good routes and is becoming a friend. More people coming to my weekly dance group. Almost a full year of hosting a monthly viewing of Trauma & Attachment teaching videos. Some useful emotional shifts, although the processing was hard. The possibility of a relationship for a while. Second full year at my programming job, and associated financial relief. Overall, it feels like there are more possibilities, more spaciousness.
On the downside, two of my singing group regulars quit (leaving two of us, plus occasional others), and one of my dance group regulars had to stop in August. And the possible relationship is rapidly unraveling. I try to hold these connections lightly, but it's still a loss when they change.
On reflection, I think I'm doing a better job of making myself more welcome, and that has changed my relationship to wanting to be welcomed. It's still there, but I'm coming to it from a different angle. I think I was already pretty good at welcoming others, and I'm learning to let them be themselves while not letting them run roughshod over me. Like the unexpected housemate I had for a couple of months, who thought it was okay to critique my food choices.
For this year, I'm choosing "music". I've been wanting to learn to play the piano for a long time, and someone gave me a fairly good keyboard a while back. I bought a book and placed the keyboard right in my office, but I still haven't done anything with it. I decided this is the year I actually do it, and I signed up for lessons. First one is Jan 15. Not sure how long I'll have the time and energy for weekly hour-long lessons, but I figure it will give me a good start.
I also started working through a music theory book I got at a yard sale. Actually writing in it and everything! I'm on Lesson 21, and mostly what I've learned is that I know quite a bit of basic music theory already. I can now draw passable treble & bass clefs! And I read bass clef better than I did before.
Music is incredibly important to me. I deeply regret not having lessons as a child, and envy people who are musically fluent. I want more of that, and I know that I can only get it one little learning step at a time. I hope that making room for that in my life, and doing the work, will also make room for all the things I associate with music - consonance, harmony, connection, joy, presence, and letting myself be audible and visible in the world.
I've had some good changes in my life this year. Basil. A hill-riding bike buddy who knows good routes and is becoming a friend. More people coming to my weekly dance group. Almost a full year of hosting a monthly viewing of Trauma & Attachment teaching videos. Some useful emotional shifts, although the processing was hard. The possibility of a relationship for a while. Second full year at my programming job, and associated financial relief. Overall, it feels like there are more possibilities, more spaciousness.
On the downside, two of my singing group regulars quit (leaving two of us, plus occasional others), and one of my dance group regulars had to stop in August. And the possible relationship is rapidly unraveling. I try to hold these connections lightly, but it's still a loss when they change.
On reflection, I think I'm doing a better job of making myself more welcome, and that has changed my relationship to wanting to be welcomed. It's still there, but I'm coming to it from a different angle. I think I was already pretty good at welcoming others, and I'm learning to let them be themselves while not letting them run roughshod over me. Like the unexpected housemate I had for a couple of months, who thought it was okay to critique my food choices.
For this year, I'm choosing "music". I've been wanting to learn to play the piano for a long time, and someone gave me a fairly good keyboard a while back. I bought a book and placed the keyboard right in my office, but I still haven't done anything with it. I decided this is the year I actually do it, and I signed up for lessons. First one is Jan 15. Not sure how long I'll have the time and energy for weekly hour-long lessons, but I figure it will give me a good start.
I also started working through a music theory book I got at a yard sale. Actually writing in it and everything! I'm on Lesson 21, and mostly what I've learned is that I know quite a bit of basic music theory already. I can now draw passable treble & bass clefs! And I read bass clef better than I did before.
Music is incredibly important to me. I deeply regret not having lessons as a child, and envy people who are musically fluent. I want more of that, and I know that I can only get it one little learning step at a time. I hope that making room for that in my life, and doing the work, will also make room for all the things I associate with music - consonance, harmony, connection, joy, presence, and letting myself be audible and visible in the world.
