3 Links: Validation, Racism, and Apologies

Kids these days get too much praise: Praise, validation, and encouragement by Lis Coburn

When a child comes to an adult, dripping with defeat, and says, “I failed,” praise is, “No you didn’t! You did really well!” and validation is, “You’re really disappointed with how you did, hunh? That sucks.” And over time, if adults do nothing but praise, what children hear is: Your self-doubt and weaknesses are not wanted here. Failure is not acceptable, not even thinkable. I cannot accept you unless you do well.

Talking about racism in therapy by Lis Coburn

And often when I opened the door [to talking about racism], the immediate and enthusiastic response was the equivalent to, “I’m allowed to talk about racism? OH MY GOD LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RACISM I’VE SEEN.”
[...]
Talking about race gave her power. It gave her the ability to change her circumstances for the better.

A Better Way to Say Sorry by JoEllen

I’m sorry for…
This is wrong because…
In the future, I will…
Will you forgive me?

This is a top-notch post about apologies, classroom management, and community. I wish JoEllen's About page didn't make my teeth hurt.