Leftover Thanksgiving query

[sonia]

One of the figurative leftovers from my friend's visit is puzzling over ownership of literal leftovers. My friend's narcissistic partner (let's call her Nan, for short) made it known several times that she expected to take a share of Thanksgiving leftovers with her when they left. I said no every time, and indeed did not give them any, except the dish my friend prepared (with ingredients I provided). I spent a lot of money, time, and energy on that food, and it's *mine*. My fridge and freezer have plenty of room in them.

As far as I remember, my parents didn't send leftovers home with people. I have been the happy recipient of Thanksgiving leftovers at other people's homes, but it certainly wouldn't occur to me to demand them. I also help cook, unlike Nan who found other things to do so assiduously that she was late sitting down to eat with us. To be fair, my friend did help, although I had to be firm to keep her from getting distracted by Nan's drama.

My parents immigrated to the US as young adults. Did we miss learning some essential part of the Thanksgiving ritual? Does feeding someone Thanksgiving dinner imply a commitment to sharing the leftovers? Is there a regional aspect to this? I grew up in Northern Virginia.

Comments

[oursin]

Okay, not my culture and not my celebration, but I can just about see this if it were to be framed in terms of 'do you need any help using up the leftovers?' - because there are all those plaints about turkey, turkey, turkey, this way and t'other way but still, you know, TURKEY for days and days and days afterwards. But the idea that parting guests should be presented with doggie bags - unless they have a long and arduous journey home, surely not? (I suppose it could be some relic of pioneering days when the journey was long and arduous...?)

At least it was just the leftovers, and not giving up the entire Christmas dinner to the Hummels.

[sonia]

Thanks for your thoughts!

Yeah, I could see offering using-up help (once), but it wasn't framed that way. I don't remember the exact words, but it was more like, "We'll be taking some leftovers." Uh, no.

Long journey, yes, but plenty of opportunities to acquire their own food along the way. I think it this case she decided it would be convenient and assumed I would go along with providing supplies.