Link: All marginalised people are practiced at biting our tongues

[sonia]

All marginalised people are practiced at biting our tongues by Sparky at Womanist Musings.

Consider that our silence isn’t a sign that you haven’t done anything wrong but that you have put us in a painful, difficult position where we do not feel we can speak.

To be clear, the quoted "you" is not directed at anyone reading here. I'm mostly thinking of all the times I tiredly don't say anything about fragrances, and feel like I'm letting myself down in the process.

From the other side, this ties into my emotional conviction that "silence = contempt" and that I'm isolated because I'm just too socially inept to tolerate. I try to tell myself that most people are just living their lives and their responses or lack thereof have nothing to do with me, but I do wonder.

I recently finished reading "Crucial Conversations" and loved what it had to say about creating safety in conversations. It feels like a huge unexpected reprieve when someone does that for me, and I try to do it for others.

via Feministe

Comments

[laughingrat]

And look what happens to people who speak their mind! It's often not pretty.

[sonia]

Lots of double binds around being marginalized, yup.

Re: In the following comment 'the quoted "you" is [mostly] not directed'

[sonia]

Thanks for taking the time to type this out!

disability or other incapacities can be consciously or subconsciously mis-read as self-inflicted and therefore justified cause for abandonment
I kind of knew this, but hadn't thought about it in so many words. That's a powerful and disturbing truth you've expressed there.

I can't tell, when you end with "Friendship doesn't work that way," if you're telling me that I've given the appearance of not knowing how friendship works.