Thanks for deconstructing that

[sonia]

I recently had two not-so-delightful, sadly typical disability experiences.

On someone's blog, I read, "... [various serious troubles] but if I find out I have to go gluten-free, I'll kill myself." Um. I went back later and someone had addressed the topic far more kindly than I would have, by saying, "Gluten-free is not so hard, really."

In conversation with an acquaintance, she said, "... [various serious troubles] but I feel so grateful that at least I don't have your limitations of sensitivities to fragrances." I said, "I feel grateful about how good I feel when I've avoided the things I'm sensitive to."

I'm also grateful to the folks who have already written about and deconstructed similar experiences, so I can notice and name them rather than feeling wrong and bad without knowing what hit me.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

Indeed, I'm trying to develop a "deep cleansing breath" which is fundamentally different from the "why is this my life?" sigh. A work in progress. Your I feel grateful about how good I feel when I've avoided the things I'm sensitive to is most definitely a keeper -- thank you.

On the gluten free front I tend to stress, a: how remarkable it was to feel that much better after so long feeling unwell and b: it's been an interesting challenge to relearn cookery. And it has! Sometimes so challenging that I'm back to soy-butter on apples, but other days I'm creating stuff right and left!

[sonia]

Glad it's useful! I do genuinely feel lucky that my body feels healthy when I don't accidentally poison myself. And I've gotten much better about standing up for what I need, and I've gotten better about providing food for myself. It's not so terrible to learn to take my needs seriously.

As always, I appreciate your icon. Is there a way for me to freeze the animated ones?

[jesse_the_k]

Sadly, only the icon owner controls the animation. I slowed the animation down on the bipolar icon, but it's still annoying to some of my readers and needs redesign.

It's not so terrible to learn to take my needs seriously is indeed the case, and yet somehow it took me decades to develop the skill to the effective level.

[sonia]

Hey, I noticed it was slower, but... thought I was imagining things or something. Thanks for mentioning that! Also thanks for considering changing it. It's such a great icon, and so hard to ignore.

I'm still struggling with needs & boundaries. So much better than I used to be, and yet still expecting everyone to hate me for having any.

I'm feeling uneasy about my previous comment upthread being faily re: feeling lucky, and re: poisoning myself. I'm open to education/correction and apologizing profusely if so.

[jesse_the_k]

I do genuinely feel lucky that my body feels healthy when I don't accidentally poison myself. certainly doesn't strike me as faily. In fact, I was tickled at a compact sentence that manages to convey:
1. I have found a cure (-ish), without being evangelical
2. Acccepting the new you
3. Humor

So There. OK, I have a new icon, now I have to figure out how to globally replace it. For now, I'll just use as needed.

[sonia]

Thanks for the feedback. I guess there's a difference between "I'm so glad I've found a way to manage my issues," and "I'm so glad I don't have your issues." I was worried that the first might imply the second for someone. Now that I've thought about it more, the big difference is leaving out the pity party. Ugh, don't need that at all!

The new icon is effective! Thanks again for taking out the animation.