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Word of the Year: Home
Dec. 31st, 2022 11:19 amMy word of the year this year was Home. In retrospect I chose it because the winds of change were already blowing, and it also feels like a giant excavator that dug in and rearranged my life. Well, I dug in and rearranged my life, with the compass needle pointing Home to the Bay Area.
My biggest fear was that I would go through all that and it wouldn't make anything better. But it did. ( So much work! So much reward! )
Even with the terrible job struggles this year, I'm so much happier. Deeply, in my gut happier. I'm still a little uneasy about my condo, and I'm wondering how long I'll be here. Hopefully at least a couple of years. Moving is so much work! And hopefully the new job will be a better fit for me too.
Which brings me around to my word for 2023, Trust. It first came up back in August when my manager talked about rebuilding trust (without becoming more trustworthy...). In my new job, building trust is woven into the definition of the project, and people are serious about it, not playing manipulative games.
In a recent lesson, my singing teacher talked about trusting the breath, and allowing the breath to be trustworthy. I want to trust myself, my body, my impulses, my loves. Choosing trust feels like it's about repairing my relationship with the world and with myself. The opposite of trauma, or getting to the other side of trauma through the long healing process. Trusting myself to spot manipulation, and also not blaming myself if I don't.
I had to trust the inner current and the inner voice that was moving me toward Home, so perhaps that's part of why Trust already started emerging partway through the year. I'm hoping Trust will be gentler and more restorative than the revolution of Home this year. Home, safety, trust, they all feel like they go together.
( full word of the year list )
My biggest fear was that I would go through all that and it wouldn't make anything better. But it did. ( So much work! So much reward! )
Even with the terrible job struggles this year, I'm so much happier. Deeply, in my gut happier. I'm still a little uneasy about my condo, and I'm wondering how long I'll be here. Hopefully at least a couple of years. Moving is so much work! And hopefully the new job will be a better fit for me too.
Which brings me around to my word for 2023, Trust. It first came up back in August when my manager talked about rebuilding trust (without becoming more trustworthy...). In my new job, building trust is woven into the definition of the project, and people are serious about it, not playing manipulative games.
In a recent lesson, my singing teacher talked about trusting the breath, and allowing the breath to be trustworthy. I want to trust myself, my body, my impulses, my loves. Choosing trust feels like it's about repairing my relationship with the world and with myself. The opposite of trauma, or getting to the other side of trauma through the long healing process. Trusting myself to spot manipulation, and also not blaming myself if I don't.
I had to trust the inner current and the inner voice that was moving me toward Home, so perhaps that's part of why Trust already started emerging partway through the year. I'm hoping Trust will be gentler and more restorative than the revolution of Home this year. Home, safety, trust, they all feel like they go together.
( full word of the year list )
