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Word of the Year: Trust
Dec. 31st, 2023 04:40 pmMy word of the year this year was Trust. Overall I got what I hoped for.
It started with struggling to trust my big choices the year before around Home. Over time, I'm appreciating my condo and its location more and more. I'm still gradually shifting things around to work better in the limited space, and completing maintenance items left by the previous owner. This is where I wanted and needed to be.
I feel a clearer sense of what trust (and distrust) feel like in my body in relation to other people. When I distrust someone, it feels less tangled with safety. I can be over here, sturdy and safe, and distrust someone else's intentions and behavior. I can trust someone, and know that there might still be glitches and disappointments.
I trust my own signals and perceptions more. I've been in a decades-long struggle with self-trust, with betrayals that felt like they were my fault because I (thought I)(acted as if I) trusted the person. Now that I have people in my life that I trust, and I know what that feels like, it's less about predicting the future and more about sensing genuine care. Trustworthiness.
It feels like paying attention to Trust for a year ended up with being more rooted in myself in the present, less of trying to predict the future and other people's behavior. Also more trust in my connection to Spirit, although I don't have a lot of words around that.
My word for 2024 is Pride. I came to it because I was tripping over so much shame in relation to having trusted or wanted to trust people in the past. Pride feels like it's not allowed, like I should keep my head down and stay small around things I do well, to keep other people from feeling threatened. I'm wondering if I'll find more ease in my body if I allow myself to exist and move with pride.
It's also linked with LGBTQ Pride. Being bi already tends to be invisible, and being single makes it even more so. I put a pride flag heart decal in my window a while back, but the size I picked doesn't show up very well. Small steps, I guess! I have a tiny and conflicted hope for a focus on Pride to lead to a (peaceful! happy!) romantic relationship, since past relationships have been so painful.
A relevant quote from Nina Felwitch( proud to be queer )
I'm feeling some "oh no, not again" as I tackle another area that's been as sticky for me as trust. I'm adding the intention of being very gentle with myself and making room for things to be exactly the way they are.
( full word of the year list )
It started with struggling to trust my big choices the year before around Home. Over time, I'm appreciating my condo and its location more and more. I'm still gradually shifting things around to work better in the limited space, and completing maintenance items left by the previous owner. This is where I wanted and needed to be.
I feel a clearer sense of what trust (and distrust) feel like in my body in relation to other people. When I distrust someone, it feels less tangled with safety. I can be over here, sturdy and safe, and distrust someone else's intentions and behavior. I can trust someone, and know that there might still be glitches and disappointments.
I trust my own signals and perceptions more. I've been in a decades-long struggle with self-trust, with betrayals that felt like they were my fault because I (thought I)(acted as if I) trusted the person. Now that I have people in my life that I trust, and I know what that feels like, it's less about predicting the future and more about sensing genuine care. Trustworthiness.
It feels like paying attention to Trust for a year ended up with being more rooted in myself in the present, less of trying to predict the future and other people's behavior. Also more trust in my connection to Spirit, although I don't have a lot of words around that.
My word for 2024 is Pride. I came to it because I was tripping over so much shame in relation to having trusted or wanted to trust people in the past. Pride feels like it's not allowed, like I should keep my head down and stay small around things I do well, to keep other people from feeling threatened. I'm wondering if I'll find more ease in my body if I allow myself to exist and move with pride.
It's also linked with LGBTQ Pride. Being bi already tends to be invisible, and being single makes it even more so. I put a pride flag heart decal in my window a while back, but the size I picked doesn't show up very well. Small steps, I guess! I have a tiny and conflicted hope for a focus on Pride to lead to a (peaceful! happy!) romantic relationship, since past relationships have been so painful.
A relevant quote from Nina Felwitch( proud to be queer )
I'm feeling some "oh no, not again" as I tackle another area that's been as sticky for me as trust. I'm adding the intention of being very gentle with myself and making room for things to be exactly the way they are.
( full word of the year list )
