sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Our arms are structured to fluidly express our physical boundaries.
Arms Relate to the World

New book response at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" by Sue Monk Kidd

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

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sonia: Statue of liberty passionately kissing blind Justice. "Liberty/Justice is my femslash" (liberty justice)
I love this post by [personal profile] thefourthvine: You're Always Coming Out.

As a single not-particularly-butch woman, I have to work pretty hard to come out as a lesbian, and the conversation always seems to sputter a bit, even with other queer folks. "Oh, I, uh, didn't know that." (Uh-huh, that's why I'm telling you, because last I checked, it's not branded on my forehead. Sigh)
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Why almost everything you've been told about unhealthy foods is wrong Note the difference between URL and current title. Glad they fixed that!

For whatever reason, way back in the seventies as a little kid, I heard that margarine is better than butter and flatly refused to believe it. My intuition/gut said that something that came from an animal was better than something chemically processed, and I stuck with that.

Nice to see the official story finally changing 40 years later.

Eggs' reputation was cleared as well.
"The consequences of this egg restriction nostrum were wholly negative: egg producers went out of business and the population missed out on an affordable, natural, nutrient-packed food as it mounded up its breakfast bowl with industrially processed cereals sold in cardboard boxes."
Funny, that. Must be coincidence, surely!

via [personal profile] oursin's linkspam
sonia: Indonesian winged dragon carved from wood (dragon)
I'm taking a class by phone and we're communicating by email. Today I got an email to the class list advertising a vaguely related paid class (enticing language, testimonials, the works) from one of the students. Oh yeah, she's the primary contact for this paid class.

I sent an email saying it's rude to advertise to a class list without consent. I got back a nice enough email saying she wouldn't do it again, but she called her email an "invitation" several times.

I find myself even angrier than I was originally. It's one thing to spam people, and it's another thing to pretend it's an invitation even after you get called out for spamming. Argh! As usual, I get most upset when people try to warp reality.

I wrote back suggesting a language change. "You invite friends. You advertise a paid class." I notice that something in me is afraid of a backlash for pressing the point.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
When we trust our structure, our whole body relaxes, expands, and breathes more easily.
Sense Your Spine's Support

New book response at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"High Tide in Tucson" by Barbara Kingsolver

Daylight Savings Time
Remember to turn your clocks forward this Saturday evening! Enjoy the extra evening light and look forward to Spring. The cherry trees in front and behind the house are a couple of weeks away from blooming, and some daffodils are bravely showing their heads.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
What if this problem is already solved?
Exit Emergency Mode

New book response at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family" by Ellyn Satter

Wellspring of Compassion in libraries
I hear with delight that a reader's request resulted in her local library stocking Wellspring of Compassion. I started my search for healing in a library, and my goal is for Wellspring of Compassion to be available to as many people searching for healing as possible. Thanks for requesting it at your local library!

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.

PEEVE

Feb. 2nd, 2014 11:57 am
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Houseguests who think I won't notice their fragranced product usage in my home.

Paperwork

Jan. 31st, 2014 06:01 pm
sonia: (lilac)
It was an unpleasant shock to receive a license renewal form for Lilac. "If your pet has passed away, please indicate this in the NOTES section below." I found a way to do it online.

I had forgotten all about this bit of municipal intrusion into my life. I wish the vet had a way of notifying them, although that ends up being even more intrusive, with a license number and death notification being passed around. So many rules. So much surveillance.

I suppose a human death involves a whole lot more paperwork and intrusion.

Slimed

Jan. 22nd, 2014 07:30 pm
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Even when it's really obvious to me that someone is projecting, and they're not even particularly pushing my buttons, I still feel like I got slimed while politely declining to process with them. "Here's this whole bucket of stuff I want to pour over you." "No thank you!" Backpedals rapidly.

We just never know what stories people are carrying around about us until they decide to speak up.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
When we stop fighting our shadows, we see ourselves and the rest of the world more clearly.
Unhook from Projection

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!
"The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford
"Child of Mine" by Ellyn Satter

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.

sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Signal boost for [personal profile] jesse_the_k:
Know anyone who does close work? Beader, engraver, needlepointer, scrimshander, dentist, miniature terrazzo layer? I'm selling a set of CraftOptics telescope magnifiers with DreamBeam LED light. They attach to prescription glasses (included). These enable great working comfort while saving eyestrain. $600US new, $375 shipped within US.

Full details here:
http://goo.gl/IvRnYY

Signal boost most welcome.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
My word of the year for 2013 was relax. Working hard at relaxing would have been counterproductive, so it went along in the back of my mind a lot of the time without direct attention.

I did end up working at discerning my attitudes toward relaxing, both physically and with general effort, and got an article out of that. Two, actually. Mostly I learned that relaxation and dissociation aren't the same thing. I'm still exploring how it feels to relax while staying present.

I see some progress toward not working AS HARD AS POSSIBLE all the time. Overall my anxiety level is lower. Things seem to get done eventually, if not as efficiently or quickly as I expect. There's also more resignation and less effort around my social anxiety. The line between relaxing and giving up around being "acceptable" is still unclear.

Related to that line of thought, I've chosen "welcome" for 2014. I want to feel welcome. I started thinking about it a month ago, and it immediately twisted itself around into, "I should be more welcoming." I don't like the "should" aspect, but I will pay attention when I push things away.

There's a lot of victim-blaming and magical thinking around social connections and loneliness. "You should try harder to fit in." "Fix what's wrong with you and people will like you better." Also, "Be yourself and you'll find your people." That hasn't worked out quite the way I imagined. A handful of connections I value but hold lightly, and none I depend on.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Some accomplishments:

  • I sang the middle part of a three-part song, alone on the part, sandwiched between the upper and lower parts, all the way through, mindful of the harmonies. This song, if you're curious: recording of Pennywhistlers singing Sto Mi E Milo
  • I felt an interpersonal strain with someone, figured out what might be hooking me, and successfully defused it.


I have struggled terribly with middle parts, persistently falling out of tune or straying into the familiar high harmony. It has felt out of my control, beyond my understanding, except to keep trying. It feels like an unexpected gift that I managed it. I suspect I will wobble in and out of being able to accomplish it for a while, but that I will eventually be able to depend on a steady skill.

Relating to people feels like a similar impenetrable mystery where I keep trying and keep failing in familiar ways. It's a relief to have something quietly work.

I have zero perspective on how hard these things are for other people. I can't tell if I'm gritting my teeth through disabilities, doing an average amount of work, or surprisingly succeeding. I suppose in the end what matters is that I'm driven to keep practicing.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
I entered my Returning Veterans Project hours for the last 6 months. 26 free hours of bodywork to 7 clients. It sounds like less than I expected when I add it up, but it averages out to 1 a week, or at least 10% of my practice, since 10 hours/week is an upper limit. This is the fourth year I've participated.

I've worked with a lot of veterans and spouses, each challenging my preconceptions in their own ways. If I had to generalize, I'd say they're all pragmatic, dealing with what's in front of them with resigned patience and determined skill.

I am anti-war but pro-veteran, and I'm glad to be able to help these men & women & their families heal from the harm war has done.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Physical movement in your avenue of expression (jaw, tongue, etc.) creates sound. Immobility is silent.
Let Your Jaw Speak

New book response at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"The Stone Lions" by Gwen Dandridge

Give the gift of compassion
Wellspring of Compassion: Self-Care for Sensitive People Healing from Trauma is available in paperback, Kindle, and Nook formats. Purchase two or more books directly from me or my website for a $2 discount on each book.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Relaxation is surrender, not to someone else, but to our present truth.
Content Note: brief child rape example.
Relax For Your Life

With US Thanksgiving and Chanukah at the end of this month, and more holidays next month, remember that you can Choose Your Traditions.

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!
"The Mood Cure" by Julia Ross
"The Body Has a Mind of Its Own" by Sandra Blakeslee and Matthew Blakeslee

Article archives on TraumaHealed.com
If you like this article and want to read more on similar topics, follow the article link and click on the Section link at the top, in this case Understand PTSD. You can also follow the Previous Article and Next Article links.

Browse the Categories article index anytime. Click on Articles in the website table of contents on the left.

If you want to re-read an article from a few months ago but don't remember the title, browse the Chronological article index. Click on Articles and then Chronological in the website table of contents.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.

sonia: (cat)
I walked by the intersection where I encountered that friendly cat and saw an older white man with a thatch of flame-red dyed hair smoking a cigarette on his porch. I asked if he had a black-and-white cat, and he shared that Frannie's family next door had just had twins, so she had to go outside to find people to pet her. No sign of Frannie though.

He also said that he used to have a black-and-white cat years ago. Me too. I wonder if we ever stop thinking of past pets when we see or hear about a similar one. 15 years later, I still think of Emrys whenever I see a black-and-white cat.
sonia: (cat)
On my evening walk, a half-grown sleek black cat with one white paw and half a white nose came running toward me, tail vertical. Sometimes cats run right past me, intent on their own business, but this one stopped in front of me with an imperious high pitched mew. I squatted down and extended a friendly fist. She walked around behind me - and leaped lightly onto my back, purring warmly in my ear. I cautiously stood up, and she stayed up there, not even digging in with her claws.

I got her down and took a look at her collar. "Frannie" and I hung out a bit longer and she jumped up on my back again, draping herself around my neck. We parted ways when a couple of pedestrians approached with a dog. I didn't want her startled with claws in close proximity to my head.

I walked back up that way later, but didn't see her. I might just walk down that block again at evening time, looking around hopefully for the most sociable cat to strangers I've ever met.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
When we acknowledge defensiveness, we can open into curiosity and maintain connections with people around us.
Listen to Defensiveness

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!
"Courageous Conversations about Race" by Glenn E. Singleton and Curtis Linton
"Making a World of Difference: Personal Leadership" by Barbara Schaetti, Sheila Ramsey, and Gordon Watanabe
"Taking the War Out of Our Words" by Sharon Ellison (detailed synopsis)

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
It's suddenly rainy season in Portland, so I'm suddenly wearing a long raincoat when I get a ride with someone. I stuck my cell phone in my pocket. When I got home, I noticed the outer screen (yes, I still have a flip phone) was partly blank, partly cracked under the outer covering, and still working over in one corner. The inside works fine. I stared at it for a while, and then remembered ever so gently shutting the car door on a corner of my coat, and then readjusting.

Oops. Never done that before, in nearly 15 years of cell phone ownership! (Maybe it helps not to have owned a car for 11 of those years.)

Turns out I can get a newer version of the same phone for $15 from Consumer Cellular. Yay. Seems like a small price to pay for that mistake! I thought about upgrading to something with easier texting, but it's not worth $100 to me for an Android phone. Sounds like too much work to have another computer to maintain.

Pretty amazing that the phone still works and only the outer screen is (mostly) non-functional.
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