sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
[personal profile] happydork has gifted us with a detailed post about Microaggressions. It was the most supportive post I could have asked to find in my reading list this morning.
"The first time you barely notice it; the fifth time, it stings; the hundredth time, you hate it with your whole entire heart. Particularly fun when combined with being open to interpretation -- after 100 instances, you're pretty sure most of them have the shitty interpretation, but you can never be sure that a single particular instance was an example of that."
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Flashbacks to preverbal memories are intense, all-consuming, boundaryless.
Name Memories Without Words

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!
"The Art of Asking" by Amanda Palmer
"Sammy the crow who remembered" by Elizabeth Baldwin Hazelton

Questions and Answers
I added a Frequently Asked Questions (with Answers) page to my website, listed in the table of contents under Answers. Take a look, and let me know if there are other questions about my practice you'd like to see answered there.

If you have questions about healing from trauma, send those along too, and they might seed an article!

Presence After Trauma
I now have as many new articles as I put in "Wellspring of Compassion". I'm giving serious thought to putting together the next book, "Presence After Trauma", although I haven't yet figured out where I'll find the time to do that.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.

sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
The #ILookLikeAnEngineer twitter hashtag is a balm after some crappy sexist backlash at work. Look at all those women and POC engineers! We exist! We are legion!

2 engineers )
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
10 Things I wish I'd Known About Gaslighting by Shea Emma Fett

Someone once told me they appreciated my gaslighting article because everything else they found online seemed to all be echoing each other. This article, this is new. And spot on.

7. You know what your truth is. You always have. You always will.

Your gaslighter does not see you. You are a shadow standing to the side, trying not to attract attention, while he showers his image of you with love and attention. And no matter how much your mind is in knots, you know this to be true. You know the space you occupy, even if you hate yourself for it. If you look back, if you look inside, you will see that you always knew that something was wrong. It may feel like you lost your core. But it was always there. The alarm system always worked, you just learned to stop listening to it. You have not lost as much as you think.


via [personal profile] kaberett
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Pockets by Amal El-Mohtar. It's about connection, and about how life can get really strange sometimes, and we cope as best we can. via [personal profile] jadelennox

Also, Playful coyote photos.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Other people's cruelty is not our fault.
The Heartbreak of "Why?"

New book response at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"Focusing with Your Whole Body" by Addie van der Kooy & Kevin McEvenue

Portland Trauma Resources site
Thanks to the person who put together pdxtraumaresources.wordpress.com. Some great resources there, including a kind recommendation for my work. Thanks also to the person who let me know about it.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Huh, looks like I didn't post this. Here, have two in a row.

One of the central tasks of healing is to reassign fault and power.
Serenity Through Your Locus of Control

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!
"On the Wings of Shekhinah" by Rabbi Leah Novick
"She Who Dwells Within" by Lynn Gottlieb
"Through the Gates" by Susan Windle

Meet my neighbor
Antoine Dean's family has owned the house next door to me for 50 years. I'm pleased to announce that he's bringing that sense of history and knowledge of the neighborhood as a Real Estate Broker. (He is also active at Irvington community meetings.) If you're buying or selling a house in Irvington (Portland, OR) or want to connect with him for recommendations or other information, his contact info is below.
503-519-0181
Antoine@WillametteRealtyGroup.com
www.AntoineDean.com

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
It's June 11. Laura Desert Rain's birthday. She died 15 years ago of cancer, just over 45 years old.

We got together on the new moon for years, to pull tarot cards for the coming month and talk. I have her Motherpeace tarot deck, although I haven't gotten it out in a long time. Maybe I'll pull a card tonight in her honor.

ETA: 9 of cups, "enjoyment and well-being."

ETA2: We met at a Witches High Tea at Gifts of the Goddess bookstore on Valencia St. in San Francisco. Took me a while to remember the name of the store, which is of course long gone, so I'm putting it here.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
[personal profile] rushthatspeaks' usual lyrical writing, in a tribute to Tanith Lee. A somewhat representative sample:
"Her work draws me back and back and back to yell at her. The Book of the Dead: STOP THAT THAT IS COLONIALIST BULLSHIT and also these aren't even stories this is literally a collection of images you have thrown at the page in hopes that some of them stick oh wait apparently that one did as it has appeared regularly in my dreams for years now DAMMIT Tanith."


I've bookmarked the post under book recs, for when my to-be-read stack is a little smaller, and I have a little more time for reading.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
Bike manners say that when you see a cyclist changing a flat tire by the side of the road, you ask, "Got everything you need?" and slow down long enough to hear their answer. It's less crucial in the city, but out on country roads you might save someone a loooong walk, or a miserable hour if they don't really know how to fix a flat.

I went shopping at my local coop at about 9pm tonight, and as I was swinging out of the parking lot on my bike, I realized the young woman behind me was wrestling with changing a car tire. I called back, "Got everything you need?"

She hesitated, and asked me if I had done it before. I said yes, and settled in to help. Actually, first I said, "I can stay and help, or leave you to it if you prefer. It's totally up to you." She opted for me to stay. Fortunately it's a nice warm clear night.

My main contribution was standing on the wrench and bouncing to get the lug nuts to loosen, and then just generally providing support and holding my bike light as a flashlight. She was reading the instructions and following them step by step, and would have been fine, except I don't think she was heavy enough to move those lug nuts.

Thing is, it's been something like 20 years since I changed a flat car tire. I remember doing it in 1989 when I'd first moved to California, and I think maybe one other time after that. Haven't owned a car for 12 years, so it's definitely been that long.

But my dad taught me to change car tires when I used to watch/help him do car maintenance as a kid, and I still clearly remember him telling me to tighten alternate lug nuts, not going around the circle in order.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
There is deep healing when we invite a younger part closer and say, "You matter. Your experience matters. Your truth matters."
Integration: Live into Both/And

New book response at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: (starry)
On the evening of Lag b'Omer, I went folk dancing, as I do most Wednesday nights when I can get a ride. Thursday I had a space in my schedule, so I biked down to Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden, a spring-fed oasis cradled in the middle of Portland. All more or less coincidentally a lovely way to celebrate Lag b'Omer.

pictures! )

Happy Spring to all!
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
As a perfect followup to this rant, I saw a link to Cancer Survivor Creates Empathy Cards for People with Serious Illnesses.

Also, this is a powerful, subversive story and much more to my taste than I thought it would be when I saw the rifle on the cover. Hunting Monsters by S.L.Huang (via)
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
I've been taking piano lessons for nearly 5 months now (wow, the weeks piled up fast!). My teacher gathers her adult students occasionally to play for each other, and I played a short little Latvian folk song in 5/8 tonight. Not perfectly, but I did it. They were all kind, warm people, with a range of skills and performance anxieties.

We all went around to introduce ourselves, and most people had played a bit as kids and then come back to it in their forties, and then again at retirement. I wonder if I'll follow that pattern (except the kid part) or stay with it. One woman looked to be around 80. I want to be learning new things when I'm 80!

I'm liking this focus on music.
sonia: Peacock with tail fully spread (peacock)
I'm gathering resources and information about Kabbalah by women. I'll update this post as I learn more.

http://kolaleph.org/2015/03/30/jewish-renewal-omer-offerings-online/ has lots of resources, some of which I'm listing here. (via a coworker, who also said, "I liked that idea about not acquiring some already-formed idea like a feminist reading of kabbalah...but being a feminist reading kabbalah." I like that too.)

Through the Gates: A Practice for Counting the Omer by Susan Windle (link has a Kindle preview).

An Omer calendar with meanings for the sefirot, by Rabbi Goldie Milgram. Also Omer blog posts, sadly interrupted by computer troubles.

Daily Omer poetry by the Velveteen Rabbi, Rachel Barenblat (via [personal profile] liv).

Two books about feminist Judaism: Lynn Gottleib's "She Who Dwells Within", and Leah Novick's "On the Wings of the Shekhinah" (via [personal profile] batdina). I got one of these at Powells, and requested the other at the library, and hope I can keep up with the stack of books to read.

This search helps me notice how many wise strong Jewish women I have in my life. What a gift.
sonia: Peacock with tail fully spread (peacock)
"The higher truth is that our experiences are absolutely fitting for each of us." I thought the Holocaust would prevent any Jew from letting that pass their lips, much less committing it to writing in a "spiritual" book.

I find it personally, viscerally offensive. I can't live in a world where I chose or deserved, at any level, the terrible things that were done to me. Not as part of the Holocaust, but perhaps as a sort of backwash from it, since I was raised by people directly affected by it.

How could a Rabbi say that, one old enough that he might have been alive during the Holocaust? In a chapter about compassion and empathy, no less. Look someone in the eye and say that, someone with a number tattooed on them. Look at a photo of skeletal people rescued from a death camp and say that. Look at someone raped as a child and say that.

I was just writing with my aunt about her aunts and uncles, and she wrote, this one and this one and that one were assassinated in the Holocaust. (In Spanish.) They couldn't possibly have deserved that. Nor did my aunt deserve to grow up without extended family around her.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
The chakra system helps us focus on one kind of healing at a time, and notice what is going well in addition to what is difficult.
Check In With Your Chakras

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!
"Healing Developmental Trauma" by Laurence Heller, PhD, and Aline LaPierre, PsyD
"Wheels of Life" by Anodea Judith
"Men Explain Things to Me" by Rebecca Solnit

Psychiatrist recommendations
Do you know of a psychiatrist you would recommend in the Portland/Vancouver, Oregon area? I'd love to have some names when I get requests for referrals.

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
The Right Words to Say: On Being Read as White by Dahlia Grossman-Heinze

I read the first few comments, and they resonate with my experience even more that the article itself. I spoke Spanish before I spoke English, despite being born in the US. Going to preschool, I remember being uncertain about being able to talk to people.

I am of Ashkenazi Jewish descent, so I am white, I suppose, but my mother was born in Chile (my dad arrived there when he was two) and they both speak English with faint Latin American accents. I'm told my Spanish carries a flawless Chilean accent, despite having visited there only once, as an adult. So, I am sort of almost Latina, enjoyed my mother's empanadas and pastel de choclo growing up, loved listening to records of Inti Illimani.

So many things to come out about, against the tide of mainstream assumptions.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
The first step toward an easier road might be permission to make choices that lessen pain.
Choose an Easier Road

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read these? Comments welcome!

"Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga" by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper
"Flying In Place" by Susan Palwick
"Fierce Conversations" by Susan Scott

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
sonia: Wellspring of Compassion book cover with woodland stream (Wellspring cover)
Consent is an unforced moment-to-moment agreement to participate in a specific activity.
Enjoy Enthusiastic Consent

New book responses at Curious, Healing. Have you read this? Comments welcome!
"Religion Gone Astray" by Pastor Don Mackenzie, Rabbi Ted Falcon, Imam Jamal Rahman

Curious, Healing is a blog, and you're welcome to comment there or here about the books. The articles don't have a comment section. You're welcome to comment here or send me email with any thoughts.

If you want the monthly newsletter in your inbox, along with news about my practice, you can subscribe here.
Page generated Aug. 27th, 2015 07:20 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios